Taste it!

It's five o'clock in the morning, Stansted airport, London. Halfway back to Stockholm on a marathon trip that will eventually Friday midday land me back in Cape Town.

Last thing I told you was that I almost burst my eardrum, and then I disappeared... So much has happened these last two weeks, so many lessons learnt. (And yes, my ear is fine, by the way, thanks for all who wondered.)

Competitive Freediving.
Taste those two words in your mouth. Roll them around on your tongue like a good wine. Close your eyes and succumb to the flavour.
What do you think?
Sweet? Bitter? A contradiction? A challenge? Salty..?

Well, for me it goes from sweet to bitter to pure I-need-to-puke-dash-to-a toilet right now and pass the water bottle, please! My training was sweet and then slippped unbeknown to me into something else, and suddenly there I was, swimming around the Blue Hole, a bitter taste in my mouth, crying into my mask. It was a really tough decision not to go for the records I had announced, especially as my training had taken me to my goals and beyond... but ah, when you lose the joy, when the taste is bitter?

Freediving for me is more than a sport, more than achievements, more than meters, seconds. Losing that love- happiness was not worth it, it never will be. So as I swam around the hole, sobbing into my mask (yes, it is possible, just very snotty!) I decided to back off, and wait. As Linda says (in her accentuated and adored Italian accent) 'You can't force it, let the depth come to you, it will- but not when you're pushing for it'.

And since then I've had a wonderful time in Dahab, coaching, teaching courses, organising, judging Bizzy Blue Hole and applauding all my friends achieving their dives.

At peace, in joy and with a sweet taste in my mouth I say goodbye to Dahab, for now.

...and Depth, when you're ready, you know where to find me.