Hanli Freediver

NEW WEBSITE, GOODBYE BLOGSPOT

2010-06-07T09:27:00.004+02:00

Dear friends and followers of hanlifreediver on blogspot. Time has come to leave this trusty spot, and move on to a new SITE. www.hanliprinsloo.com has been designed by Niel Joubert of 7Red, and created by Jens Herf of the Ice Cream Network. Thank you to both of them for making it possible!

PLEASE read and follow me here!
http://www.hanliprinsloo.com
There will be stories, and photos and videos and all things adventurous and aquatic!
See you there!

Hanli

It's not a Spectator Sport!

2010-05-26T20:02:00.008+02:00

They watch me floating face down in the water of that far-away pool. So many moons and loves and dives ago. I'm completely relaxed. Not a single muscle is tensed.
I'm playing dead. My then quite new wetsuit looks shiny compared to it's present day state of patches and scratches.
Today the guys are huddled around my computer in the dim-lit wood cabin that serves as office and HQ for the Blue Wilderness dive operation on the KZN South Coast. We've done yoga, we've stretched our lungs, we've done deep breathing , they've experienced breathing contractions for the first time.
I've talked them through the theory of freediving, the history, the physiology, the philosophy. Now I am showing them this bad quality clip filmed on the judge's camera at a competition almost two years ago.'It's not a Spectator Sport!' I hear myself say, the guys laugh, as I knew they would. No, watching someone lie face down in a pool is not ice-skating. I laugh with them but the laughter gets stuck in my throat and I'm left with an uncomfortable jarring thought at the back of my head. But no time to ponder... getting changed into suits, grab masks and off to the pool.The guys float on their backs and when it's their turn I talk them through their three final breaths, the last deep deepest breath, and then he rolls over.

Face down. Playing dead.
'Relax your neck, relax your shoulders' I repeat, gentling squeezing his shoulders, encouraging him to relax. His head drops a little deeper, his body lets go. My voice echoes in my head... 'It's not a spectator sport...'

I am so wrong.

Freediving is the greatest spectator sport of all time. Greater than ice-skating, basketball, pole-vaulting (I love pole-vaulting!), gymnastics or even parkour.
The only difference is, there is only one spectator. You. The diver. And you are not only watching. You are seeing yourself from the inside. And you are not only seeing. You are feeling, experiencing, assimilating, learning, shifting, adjusting, growing. This is the ultimate experience. It just happens to happen within one person. For no-one else to see.
The breath-hold I had shown the guys as an example, I remember as if it was yesterday. My warm-up, my nerves, the song I had in my ipod just before. The first stage of holding my breath, the relaxation, I remember the thoughts, coming and going, memories, feelings, hopes, uncertainties... this quiet revolution going on inside.
Contractions starting, destroying the meditation, the focus, the die-hard kicking in. Sebastian's voice urging me on, supporting me, carrying me. My elation at feeling my body meet my mind in these perfect minutes of mind-body communication. Oxygen swirling through my blood, caressing my brain, deserting my toes. I know this. I know what my beautiful body is capable of. Beautiful for what she is capable of, for the dive response she harbours. Glorious, magnificent half-seal that I am. All this becoming as I lie there, face down. Dead to the world. Alive as never before. This is the greatest spectator sport of all time. And I am the only ticket-holder.

Rene, Rob, Anthony, David, Mike and Rowan, welcome to your stadium!

Good Morning

2010-05-19T09:43:00.004+02:00

'It's so pink!' she exclaims, her European accent adding to the quiantness of the moment. She's wrapped in a bright Mexican blanket and standing on the pavement, staring up at the sky. The sun is about to rise on the other side of False Bay, as it does every morning, but the last few days there has been great celebration and a fanfare of colours announcing this rising. As if the Sun is saying, 'Yes well, I do this every day, but that doesn't mean you can take it for granted!' So I stand reminded. Staring up at the sky, peeling my naartjie. I hug my Mexican blanketed neighbour a good morning and start jogging off down the road. Pink turning to orange to red above me. Nothing granted, all appreciated.
I veer off the road onto the boardwalk, hop skip and jump over the rocky bits and come down onto Danger Beach. The colours of the sky are reflected in the wet sand. They fade, and the sea pushes up another wave to lick the beach, creating the perfect canvas for the sunrise painting. Again and again and again. Wave after wave, sunrise after
sunrise Nature offers us there gifts of colour and beauty. Mine are the only footprints on the beach. The sun peeks out from behind the mountains chasing away the subtler colours, leaving a bright glowing yellow across the sky.

I run on. I've never liked running. I can only run if I do so next to the sea or in the mountain. Because then I can pretend it's something else. Exploring. Or checking the waves. But I am learning to run. Adam sent me a book 'Born to Run', about how we are the Running People, about the amazing ultra-runners of the planet, and the mindset of running. It makes sense. I repeat to myself 'easy, easy, easy... light light light light...' the author says that first comes easy, then light, then smooth, then fast. I don't think I'll ever be fast. I am aiming for light.
I turn on Muizenberg beach and run back. I feel quite smooth... the sun is up now and warming my back. No more colours in the sky, now it's the sea's turn to go chameleon. The flat dark of early morning is replaced by shining ripples, bright flashes of light off small waves. She is so glorious, the ocean. Back at Dalebrook pool I pull my clothes off fast before the chilly air changes my mind and I dive in. Again, it's just me. Winter in Cape Town promises solitude in the most beautiful places. I swim a few laps, look at the rocks and urchins underneath me. Dry off quick and hurry under the railway, over the road, up Rosmead and get a big hug from Mickey. 'Same as always, love?' she asks. Fruit salad, yoghurt, honey, fresh orange juice and a whale latte. The best coffee in the south.

Where in the world can you live such a morning? I am grateful.

Lumpy left, cement swimmers and red leaves

2010-05-15T20:17:00.004+02:00

'Can water really be wobbly?' the surfer asks me as I clamber onto my Stand-Up-Paddle board for the umpteenth time. His chest and head is all that's visible above the water, as he's sitting deep on his very short surfboard. I loom over him, paddle in hand; 'Yes', I answer, 'water can be wobbly and this water is'. Peter, Glen and I have made the trek to the other side of False Bay to surf a pretty left point that looked sweet from the car park, and yes, we did get some good waves, the guys more than me, but the water wobbled. There was a refraction, backwash, undertow, rocks and stuff. It was fun. I got some waves, I fell a lot. But I did get more waves than the guy on the surfboard.

But this was just the start of my saturday. The far side of False Bay is just a hop skip and a high jump over the Sir Lowry's Pass to Grabouw, apple country, where my beautiful sculptor sister lives. Still sandy and salty I drive over the pass, through the apple orchards to Marieke's house. Somehow this mountainous valley gets the seasons more than many places in SA, and I feast my eyes on the symphony of russet red and mustard yellow leaves.

Marieke lives in an old stone house. I park under the huge oak tree in front of the house and she opens the door. She is sick. And busy. Equally. She has very recently been given the go-ahead to put 18 sculptures up on the Sea Point promenade. Unveiling them the day before kick-off, and the public exhibition will go on for a whole year. She never expected City of Cape Town to say yes for them to go up before kick-off, but this being their request, she is very very busy. The sculptures tell the tale of a magical meeting between a swimmer-girl and a dragonfly, and is read as a story, one sculpture at a time, as you walk along the promenade.

I am so proud as I watch the clay take shape under her expert hands. She is an artist, wife, mother, daughter... and the best sister you could ever wish for.

I love you Marieke.

'My cake is weird'

2010-05-14T16:50:00.006+02:00

'How was your day', Bridget asks? 'How was the workshop? 'Amazing!' I reply, 'I feel so much clearer, so much more at peace... you see', I beam at her, ... 'my cake is weird!' B looks up from the Origami paper crane she is folding (nr 145 of 1000 paper cranes for her wedding... and she thinks I am strange!?) and eloquently asks 'Huh?'

We are drinking tea in her lovely lounge in an already dark and very rainy Cape Town after a long day spent with Justin and Juliet of Greenhouse. (Greenhouse offers a safe environment for the cultivation of conscious ideas into reality.)And all of today I have had the privilege of being in that safe environment and cultivating my conscious ideas over super-smoothies, dates and brazil nuts. We started with values, what I believe, why I do what I do... then vision, then goals, then offering and all the way down to HOW.
So back to the cake. One of the most radical things was looking at my life as a cake, all I do being slices of this cake. Percentages of time I spend on the myriad of things that are my life. And man, my cake is weird. Spending too much time doing things I don't want to be doing, that also do not bring benefit on any level, spiritual, emotional, financial or physical. So out with the old cake, in with the new.
My new Cake is beautiful. She is a cake of beauty and truth. I feel peaceful when I think of her. The slices of my new cake make sense, financially and practically. And the most important slice, the slice called Adventure, has gro w n m u C H L A R G E R.

My new cake, isn't she grand?

This shift will soon manifest in the practical, but for now, it is a happiness I hold in my heart. A new perfect cake, with a large slice of Adventure. Flavoured with values... imagination, resilience, joy, passion, freedom, risk, courage, authenticity...

Welcome to the Party!

Actors and Oceans

2010-05-12T07:21:00.007+02:00

Monday was Durban again, teaching the Cast from Blue Crush 2 the basics of Freediving so they feel happy in the water to start their super intense 3-week surfing lessons that will turn them into ripping surfers by Shoot Day 1. No tall order.

We started the day at the Protea Hotel in Umhlanga, where the cast met each other and the team of pro's who will teach them the ways of the waves. The task of choosing the surf-coaching team was placed in the capable hands of BOMBSurf John McCarthy. Sandy for Yoga, Clayton for Coaching, Allen for SurfBasics, Wilma for Fitness and Me, for Ocean Comfort/ Freediving.

Sasha and Elisabeth meeting their boards, love at first sight!

I'm the first port of call in their journey to becoming surfers, first feel good under the water, then learn to ride it, cause inevitably, you will fall off, and panicking is Not an Option. Especially not with A, B and C cams aimed at you!

Sasha is an LA based bubbly blond originally from Windsor, sweet-looking exterior housing a wicked sense of humour and a never-give-up spirit. Elisabeth is an intelligent and entertaining ebony skinned, willowy tall model/actress originally from Michigan, now also LA based. And Chris, Cape Town born funny and fun, good-looking and earnest.

Low glory- yet very important- pose, ankle circles! Happy ankles= good board-balance!

We started the day with yoga and breathhold on land, where they got to learn about contractions, their magical spleens and inner seals... then off to the blue blue sea. And maybe sensing the importance of the day, the ocean obliged and gave us flat and calm, warm and clean for their first submersion. Breathhold in the shallows, the girls both cracking 2 minutes easy and Chris doing a strong 3.20. Oh yes, they will be fine with whatever the sea throws at them.

Then we swim out a little deeper, practice some equalisation and then play around on the sand at the bottom. Swimming down together, passing a snorkel around before coming up, getting more and more comfortable under the water. Sasha laughingly remembering hours spent in the pool as a kid, playing mermaid, holding her breath lying at the bottom. Elisabeth dropping my 'lucky snorkel' and doing a quick and confident dash to the bottom playing retriever dolphin. The ocean loves us and we love her back.

Surrounded by the right people, with loads of good energy around and strong wills I think they have a good shot at looking like surfers once the shooting starts end of the month.
And I am certain, that for now and forevermore, 3 more surfers are born!
Happy Birthday guys!!

Sunday: Planes and Boats, here and there...

2010-05-09T17:03:00.003+02:00

I wake up with a sore head and a still-snotty nose. The rain is crashing down outside, the gutters have fallen off my very old Kalk Bay house and the water, free of such restrictions, cause a joyful racket outside. It's very wet. But farm-girl that I am, I have been taught never, ever to curse the rain.
I pack wetsuit, fins, mask and flip-flops, it's hot in Durban so I won't need much, and I'm only going for 48 hrs anyway, simple... The best of plans made in the best of ways, always fail, I learn again and again and today again. See, for a change, I'm not running late, and with time left to spare I stop at the pharmacy to get nose-spray, on the doping list at freediving comps, but absolutely essential for my job tomorrow. Teaching the cast of Blue Crush 2 to be comfortable in the water. I won't be of much use if I can't dive with them, I reason, as I pay the exorbitant price for the unhealthy spray I plan to inflict on my nose.Please hurry, I tell the girl at the pharmacy counter, I'm on my way to the airport, making my problem her problem as she hurries to sort my change out. I dash out into the rain, into my beloved Toyota twin-cab bakkie, turn the key... and nothing. No no no no noooooo... most reliable of cars, this can't be happening!
She's dead. My light blue reliable steed sputters and gives up. Please Adam, help! Sure, he's around the corner and we dash to the airport. On time. Check in. Bag too big. Oversize drop-off. Do you have a computer in there? Safety check. Hurry to gate A7. Long cue. Wait wait wait, the flight is delayed from Joburg, so so is ours. Board. Cram into my seat. Middle seat, close my eyes, and breathe. What a rush! Take-off and my sinuses wail in pain. Flying with mucus, never a good thing.
And I realise. I don't really like this. This traveling, the rush, the deadline, the mad dash to the check-in counter.They say the world has gotten smaller, with flights being so accessible and the world just around the corner. All this efficiency, making the trip from A to B quick and possible. We complain of long trans-atlantic flights, a full 14 hrs plus!

And suddenly I remember.

The wind against my face, the lazy flapping of the sails. The days stretching into weeks. The quick-jump flight from the Azores home to Sweden we turned into a 17 day passage on a 38 foot ketch with a man we didn't know. No auto-pilot, no windvein, no real long distance sailing experience. The start of the end of a long relationship, time on board a yacht makes or breaks love.
And I miss it. I will swop this cramped seat for my 8-12 watch. 8 hrs a day each, keeping watch, steering north. Watching the sun set alone on deck, the moon rise, the stars come out and then the eerie 'pfooooohhh' in the distance as a whale breathes. Stop counting the days, Hanli, the way-points and the wind-speeds. You are here, only here, only now. You cannot control the wind and the storm that is bearing down on us.

Maybe I need to remind myself of that voice here in my cramped seat on this hated plane. Stop rushing. Stop being in the next moment, the arrival, the pick-up, the plans and tomorrow. Live the journey. Even if the journey has been reduced to a bumpy cramped two hour flight.

Saturday: Kalk Bay: On FREEDOM and Snot

2010-05-08T14:25:00.004+02:00

I am sick.

Days of surfing and socialising in Durban has left me ill. Not the kind of 'call the cavalry, feel sorry for me, use my hospital plan for once' kind of sick. NO, the excruciating kind, where 'i really should stay in bed, i should rest, get remedies from my homeopath, fruit smoothies and vit C' kind of sick. And I am so bad at it. I hate it. I want to go run. Surf. Dive.
AND BANG, just there, I lose my Freedom! Because freedom is not the fact that I don't do a 9- 17 job. Or the fact that I own 5 fins, 4 boards and 7 wetsuits, AND USE THEM ALL.
No.
Freedom is being happy where you are. Accepting where you are. The story of the monk who spoke to the prisoners about his life in a cell, no TV, no mattress, no sugar... and they were like, 'Shame, you could stay over here in high security if you'd like some comfort.' And the monk's point, and my point is... the monk chooses his cell. So he is Free. So I, like the wise monk, choose to be happy in my illness. Not focus on all the things my achy body cannot do. But accept the rest, the tea, the soup, the naartjies and the books.

I am Free, to be Sick!

There is only DO!

2010-05-05T17:30:00.002+02:00

Have spent the last few days in Durban with the NAISH Stand Up Paddle guys, promoting the sport, riding waves and meeting new and old friends. Durban is a warm city with many beaches and hundreds of waves.

I have been spending a few hours every day surfing waves that I never thought I could surf. Now why did I think that? What's with that... 'I never thought I could...' There is no thinking, right, there is only do, or not do, right? And up until the last few days, I have not surfed these kind of waves and now I have, and I hope I will keep doing things 'I never thought I could', and you know what, even better- I will stop thinking them silly 'never could' thoughts.
I am so excited. So in love with the blue water, clear below, waves above, whatever she gives me, I am grateful for. Loving the ocean and thinking less...

Stand Up Paddling with Seals

2010-05-01T12:31:00.005+02:00

A Sunday out of Hout Bay, freediving and then SUPping with Cape Fur Seals.

Thank you to Steve from Animal Ocean for boating, filming and smiling!

Music: 'I like Giants' by the lovely Kimya Dawson

Leaving Durban

2010-04-12T10:29:00.008+02:00

So after almost two weeks swaying among the sugarcane, living out of bags and diving in blue water, it's time to go home. This has been quite a journey. In all meanings of the word.
The interest for my freediving courses up here has been tremendous, from surfers, to spearos, to water gazers who want to become water users. Advanced days have brought past pupils back for deeper dives, and on shark dive days I've dragged some reluctant, some fearful surfers into sharky waters, to see their eyes and hearts open to these majestically misunderstood fish.

Photo: Allen Walker

And as you all know, for me, it's all about water. Blue water. Black water. Cold... warm... flat... stormy... on a board, with fins, without fins... or just swimming.

But not this time.This time, it was about people. Myself included.
It's been a tough two weeks. I've felt myself challenged in ways I haven't been for a long time. I've felt small, lost, sad and vulnerable. The confusion of being so incredibly happy, fulfilled, surrounded by so much beauty, and just wanting to crawl into a deep crevice and hide there. Luckily the crevices at my disposal have been guarded by people who love... love me, love others, love sharks. People who love. So yes, this trip has been about people.
A couple of highlights:Last week Wed the 7th, I went to a HUGE banquet at the Durban ICC, where 4000 people came together to show their moral and monetary support for LIV- Lungisisa Indlela Village.

The Banquet, I have never been to such a moving and HUGE event... in every way.

The heart-project of friend and big wave charger Twiggy's parents, Joan and Tich. These amazing people have seen a solution for the gigantic challenge of orphans in Africa, and tired of watching this tragedy unfold, they have built LIV- a village for orphans and women, a sustainable future, full of hope. It was such a privilege to be there, I cried, laughed... felt the magnitude of the challenges our country faces, and was reminded to HOPE! If you want to learn more- AND YOU SHOULD, please check out:

LIV- Lungisisa Indlela Village.

And then there is Wolf. Wolfgang Leander is a man I have known for two years, I say known, but I only met him once two years ago in Struisbaai, where we were united in a dream to freedive with Great White Sharks. Neither of us did, on that trip. But we were equally excited to have met each other, and since then a heartfelt, if geographically challenged, friendship has developed. Wolf lives in Bolivia, and spends his time and money on Tiger sharks... wherever you can dive with them, Wolf has been, will go to, or has been to, and is returning to. And when you see him diving with them, you understand why. This man GETS Tigers... like really GETS them. His love for them is palpable... in his eyes, in his words, and when you see him underwater interacting with them, you know. This is true love. With his so-damn-old-it's-retro-cool 35mm stills camera slung around his neck, he hangs around at about ten meters, waiting for his striped ladies to come in, strokes their bellies, snaps pics of their gentle eyes and comes up out of breath and fulfilled. I love diving with him, he inspires me to keep loving the sea and her children as I do.

Thank you Wolf.

Wolf and I

Photo: Allen Walker

But it's time to go home. Cape Town is where I need to be. I have a week there. Before coming back up this way for a Wilderness Trail in a game farm. 5 days on foot in the Wilderness, what an experience. But for now, the Mother City needs to hold me close for a few days, I need to rest.

For Love of Water

2010-03-23T15:49:00.006+02:00

Last night was a night of fear and joy... The joy was from swimming with the sharks at the Two Oceans Aquarium, the fear was about the state of the BLUE on our Blue Planet. Justin and the crew from Greenhouse have launched a spectacular nationwide campaign called FLOW, For Love of Water.

Awareness awareness awareness!! This is always what it boils down to, sometimes I wonder what it is we actually keep our minds occupied with all of our waking hours, when so few of the actually important things are on our minds... What's been on your mind lately?
Is it important? Is it uplifting... what are the things you care about the most?
Keep them close, in your thoughts, in your heart. This is how we will affect Change!

Beautiful Zolani singing and me behind the glass in the water...

For me? It's water... it always has been and always will be, WATER! The salty type, the flowing type, the quiet deep brooding lake type, the crashing Atlantic wave type, the clear, cool refreshing type you gulp down on a hot hot sunny day. WATER!
Keep it in your heart, in your thoughts- there isn't a lot of it left, so hold it close...

Sharks, Surfers and Deep Blue Water!

2010-03-18T15:53:00.004+02:00

From ice to rolling green hills covered in sugarcane! The KwaZulu Natal coastline has really crept into my heart. Once a month I am teaching a volley of courses up on the tropical side of our beautiful country. The water is a clear rolling blue, the trees are a vivid green and the people are as diverse as the sand is white.
I am working together with Mark and Gail Addison from Blue Wilderness just south of Umkomaas, and together with their supercrew- Marcus, James and Goodman, I've been introducing many new freedivers to the lure of the deep!
I love this Zuluwonderland and as much as Cape Town holds my heart, a small part of me has definitely taken root up east.

A usual week in KZN includes numerous one-day courses- a crash course in the mental and physical intricacies that is freediving; an advanced day of deeper dives for those who have done the course the previous visit; and also, the opportunity for those who have done the course to come out on a shark dive! Aliwal Shoal offers a smorgåsbord of black-tips, Zambezi's, Tiger Sharks, Dusky Sharks, Raggies... not even to mention the whale sharks, dolphin, turtles and other ocean friends.

It is always the greatest pleasure to take as active ocean user as a surfer is, and showing them these toothy friends... a shift happens when somebody gets to hang out with over 30 sharks in close proximity and realise 'they don't want to eat me!'

Look forward to many more days of blue green rolling waves, hills and sharky friends!

Sweden Ice Freediving!

2010-02-08T23:06:00.007+02:00

A Sunday in Sweden, a group of Freedivers, an idea.

A lake.
A cold Winter...
....a love of water so strong, nothing can stop us!

Warm heart... cold everything else!

Thank you Christian, Kent, Sofia and Henrik for an unforgettable day!
Filmed above and under water on my Olympus TOUGH.

Over under Ocean Adventures: enter NAISH!

2010-01-15T07:23:00.013+02:00

The last few days I have been walking on clouds... and water! Naish have given me a beautiful, brand new, fantastic STAND UP PADDLE BOARD! She is yellow, 9 foot tall, quite slim- and I have named her Beastie.

About to enter the water at Kommetjie for Beastie's virgin paddle... and many laughs!

I tried SUPping (as Stand up Paddling is fondly known as) for the first time last year at Earth Wave in Muizenberg, and from the moment my feet touched that deck, I was hooked. I have been a passionate (yet amateur) surfer for a couple of years, but this was something altogether different and magical. It is like walking on water. Back straight, knees slightly bent, chin up... one paddle and you glide along the surface as if you're an ancient Ocean Goddess or River Queen!

Wilderness lagoon, sunset paddle... magic!

It truly is an exhilarating experience! As the board is bigger than a normal longboard, you can catch waves further out and have a longer ride. But I must say, it's the moments between the waves that are transformed into the most incredible ocean encounters...

I intend to use Stand Up Paddling not only as a way to catch waves, but another way of exploring my greatest love, the ocean. I ended 2009 in Wilderness up the east coast of SA where we SUPped at Buffelsbay catching sweet little waves, up the Kaaimans river to the waterfall, family paddling around the lagoon and catching dodgy waves under the bridge.
This is truly an exciting way of approaching the sea!

Family paddling on the Kaaimans River! The more the merrier!

I plan to do all manner of aquatic adventures together with new friend Beastie: catching waves, longer river paddles, expeditions out to sea visiting islands and sea friends- strap a mask to your board and the ocean is your oyster!

The unforgettable day Jeannie and I met the friendliest Dusky Dolphins in all of the Atlantic Ocean, paddling off Glen Beach

Bring on 2010, not only under- but on top of the water!

For more info on boards and learning, check out www.sup-culture.com

The Most Perfect Day

2009-12-15T08:18:00.005+02:00

Two like-minded ocean-loving girls, two boards, two paddles... a plan to do a long paddle from Camps Bay around to Sea Point... but the ocean had another plan for us...

Filmed on my Olympus TOUGH

Island Style- Sweden

2009-11-27T10:59:00.013+02:00

The bus leaves Slussen at 12.05, I've slept too long. Should've gotten out there earlier, well the sun only did come up at 9, but still, it's already, or maybe still- low on the horizon. We drive over Danvikstull, I look over the side of the bridge, remembering summer days next to the water, throwing boule and drinking beer. Neverending sunlight. Nobody there now.

I've put Arvo Pärts Spiegel im Spiegel on repeat in my iPod, and I live this film of muted Autumn colours, glassy ice cold lakes... 40 minutes later I jump off at Brunn, the final stop for the bus. Stina careers around a corner in a small borrowed car and I jump in. She's wearing gumboots, I'm so happy. It's like seeing myself again after a long time, I guess that's how it is in a way, our closest friends are like safeboxes, we keep parts of ourselves safely locked up in them.

The roads get smaller and smaller, no more tar here, forests all around us, the distances between the houses get bigger. We park the car, Stina half-hides the key in it's half-hidden hiding place, this is an island... a safe place, so hidden, no need to hide.

We walk along the ever narrowing road, until it's more or less a path, and where it ends... is Stina's house. A small perfect wooden house with great big glass windows looking out over the baltic sea. There's a large wooden deck and a view that stops the clock...

Stina's lively brown Kelpy-dog Disa is overjoyed to see us, so we make a quick cup of coffee, and start walking.

There are scraggly bushes on the hill around the house, we make our own path to the long wooden staircase down to the sea. Majestic old oak trees stand naked on the hillside, moss covers the granite rocks scattering the slope.

The small beach is deserted, seaweed lying in heaps on the sand. The wooden jetty juts out into the sea, the echoes of summer swimmers laughing and jumping still hanging in the air. It is dead quiet.

It's 2 o'clock and the sun is low on the horizon.

We play on the jetty, throwing sticks for Disa, looking down into the crystal freezing water. Not even I feel like swimming.

Today the sea is not calling my name... or maybe I'm just not listening...

The ocean eats my Words

2009-11-13T15:15:00.004+02:00

So this blog is supposed to be about my freediving and my life 'lived in love with the ocean', right? And the last few months have been full of incredible ocean adventures... but you wouldn't know that, cause i haven't been blogging!! What's with that?
And now I'm sitting here in a cafe in Gothenburg, Sweden, called Fröken Olsson- seeing my first snow in many months, snuggled into my new warm thick needed scarf- and I decide to write.

So this gets me thinking... and you know what it is?
The ocean eats my Words!

When diving, surfing, climbing, swimming- living the life I do in Cape Town, I live in my body in my heart... a wordless state of physical being.
But Sweden gets me back into my head- and I write. And this is a good thing.
I'm here to finish my film I've been working on for four years, a very very personal non-oceanic adventure in self discovery. 'White as Blood'. A film about being white in South Africa today.
And yes, I had to leave Cape Town, leave the waves, the seals, animal ocean and all that is sea, to focus on this story I'm telling.

I'm here for a month, and when done I hope to come back to CT with new words, a sense of accomplishment, no tan and a FILM, at long long last!

Words words words of seperation politics... my words for now!

EARTHWAVE!

2009-10-06T23:28:00.005+02:00

Sunday was EARTHWAVE day! Over 400 people signed up to try break the Guinness World Record for how many surfers on one wave. The old record was somewhere just over 100, so we had our work cut out for us. First we all lined up along the beach, hundreds of people and hundreds of boards... and in we plunged. Paddling out through mercifully calm and small Muizenberg waves. What an unbelievably heartwarming experience, to be so many people focused together on one very simple goal: Standing Up.

With a whoop and a shout we took off- and there I stood, happy and proud on my board, with over a hundred people with me. We whooped and cheered like kids as the wave carried us forward. Back out to the backline, wait for the next wave... go go GO!! PADDLE!
120 people on one wave!!

Golfinos! Golfinos!

2009-09-14T08:16:00.003+02:00

Saturday saw a sleepy Hanli drag her weary body out of bed at 5 in the morning, still dark- cold and a little misty. Quick shower to wake up... fins, suit, weights and water. Let the adventure begin!

Together with Danish diver friends Morten and Astrid I arrived at Steve's house, bundled into his bakkie and headed north, his big beautiful ANIMAL OCEAN boat behind us. We arrived at Yzerfontein on the West Coast just after sunrise, kitted up, launched the boat and headed into the mist.

As we sped over the green-blue water, I remembered my first real dolphin encounter, on the Azores, the beautiful Portuguese Islands slap bang in the middle of the Atlantic on your way west. I spent a magical month there some years ago, diving with a passionate oceanman called Norberto. And every time I see a dolphin I hear Norberto's voice echoing in my head- 'Golfinos! Golfinos!' Portuguese for Dolphins. And from that first cry of GOLFINOS to today, I just love these happy, friendly, crazy, athletic, smart, lively, naughty, intuitive MAMMALS!

So as the first cry went up- 'There they are!' I was ready! Dolphins all around us. My first experience of Dusky Dolphins, beautiful, small agile little friends coming up close, scanning me up and down, double take 'who are you, funny girl'? And so we play. Until they decide to continue their mystical mission and leave us stranded silly in the middle of the sea, still smiling sheepishly, harldy believing that yes, once again I've had the privilege of encountering some of my favourite friends!

Video taken by Steve from ANIMAL OCEAN, check his site for more pics and ocean adventures!

We start up again and headed further out to sea.
Dassen Island.
A small flat island covered with seals, penguins, pelicans and other smaller birds. The water around the island teems with shark-life, fish and kelp forests. The visibility was over ten meters- glorious! Steve shot a yellowtail and a Hottie, and Danish Morten shot his very first African fish!

Big Waves Big Lungs Part 2

2009-09-09T09:08:00.010+02:00

There is something about people who truly love the ocean. I'm not sure what it is, a certain whatchamacallit... depth?

The last few weeks I've spent time with Cape Town's Big Wave Surfers (yes all those capital letters are much deserved!) and what a pleasure. Earnest, honest, vibrant ocean people who seek to better themselves, their performance and they really do love the sea!

So this past Sunday saw me once again with a group of passionate people, giving and receiving in equal doses. Like last time, I was impressed by the mixture of physicality, mental focus and willingness to learn.

Breathe, breathe breeeeathe... and hold... yes, that's a contraction!!

Telling them about the Mammalian Dive Response, man I love it!
(Chris Bertish, Cecilia Liebenberg, Jean Holmes, Sean Holmes)

James Taylor, Steve Benjamin, Barry Futter, Greg and Chris Bertish getting ready to dive.

C'est moi!

Thanks to Kimi Stewart for the pics and good company, and huge thanks as always to Steve Benjamin for great boat, great skippering and the best smile in town:

A day in False Bay!

2009-09-02T12:02:00.003+02:00

This is False Bay... a shore entry just south of Millers Point... and there they are- Cowsharks, Puffadder Shy Sharks, and all other fish and friends.

Images speak louder than words and all that, so herewith a little film by best skipper and ocean -friend Steve Benjamin from Animal Ocean, your non-stop shop for all and any marine adventures!!

Video of me and Craig McKune herding Cowsharks!

Big Waves and Big Lungs

2009-08-30T11:26:00.002+02:00

Winter is happening in Cape Town, and with it comes sunny days and huge huge SWELL! Breaks like Dungeons and Sunset are Big Wave breaks on Cape Town's Atlantic side. Mountains of energy come rolling through the ocean, almost invisible in the distance, then suddenly this far-traveled visitor hits the reef and raises up like a prehistoric creature, building higher and higher before pitching forward... a magnificent wall of water. First time I saw it my stomach lurched, my heart flipped and I uttered some involuntary expletives.

Since that first day I've spent some awe-inspiring days on the water in Steve's boat (Animal Ocean) getting to know the conditions, the waves... and the men who ride them!
Yes, this is the playground of the Riders of Giants.
They paddle out on long pointed boards, wait, watch, breathe... and charge! Careering down a living mountain, seconds of pure living.

I have long believed that the training I've been doing the last ten years of my life, for fun, will be applicable to these guys- for survival. So last week I taught a bunch of these amazing surfers a course I've developed for them, Surprise Apnea.

Andrew Marr, Simon Lowe, Reinhart Fourie, Jaques Theron and James Taylor did some amazing breath-holds and beautiful dives. They seemed to really get a lot out of it, and over the next few weeks I'll be teaching the others: breathing, relaxing, mammalian dive response, what happens in your body when you're held down with NO air left in your lungs. These men inspire me with their incredible courage, joy and love of life, I feel privileged to share their journey with them.

Grant "Twiggy" Baker riding Sunset.

Pics: Steve Benjamin and Kimi Stewart

Confessions of a Commitment-phobic

2009-07-17T15:44:00.004+02:00

If you had asked me two months ago if you could book a course with me, say- next year March,
you wouldn't have gotten a straight answer out of me. Because how the hell would I know where I'm gonna be next year March, right?
Well... ask me now, today!!
Go on- ask me 'Hanli, please can I do a course with you next year March'.
'Sure', I answer, '2nd or 3rd weekend work best for you?'

A shift has happened.

I am committing to my beloved Cape Town, my mountains and the two oceans that surround us. I will be here. This is where I will be.
I have recently moved into a new flat in Kalk Bay, (well I say new, built in the 1840's or something) and am making it home. This new base will of course be the launching pad for many a travel and great daring adventure, but I will return.

'Do you, Hanli, take this bay, False Bay, to love and to treasure, to protect and support,
through sickness and health...?' I DO!!

Blue Rock Winter Sunshine

2009-07-02T19:12:00.004+02:00

A couple of pics from the course I taught this weekend in Kalk Bay and at Blue Rock Quarry.
The guys did amazing results, 20 and 23 meters in depth and both well over 4 min in statics! So proud of them, relative newcomers they are. Cape Town opened her skies and gave us a sunny day at the quarry, but golly it was cold and dark down there...

Briefing before first session, Craig listening intently- I think?

Yoga stretch and warm up.

Photos: Nate Maingard

Today's smoothie...

2009-06-23T17:27:00.004+02:00

Soooo gooooood, try it:

1 guava
1 banana
1 clementine
4 brazil nuts
4 cacao beans
handful of goji berries

In the blender, in the mouth, in the tummy, in the bloodstream... happy body!

And tomorrow... GREEN!!

... have 'borrowed' this awesome pic off Liz' site, check out rawfoodcrafting.com...

Today my heart broke

2009-05-30T17:01:00.003+02:00

- 'Keep her facing the waves... Careful, careful, her fin is stuck under... Nate, when last did she breathe?.. Watch out guys, she's turning..!!'
- 'This one seems so tired, I think she's gonna die...'
- 'NOT ON MY WATCH!'

And so it went, desperate people in wetsuits holding onto lithe, agile, graceful bodies rendered helpless and vulnerable by gravity, sand washing into gentle eyes, blow-holes gasping for air through crashing waves.

Around 40 pilot whales beached themselves today. Peaceful Kommetjie beach about 20min from my house turned into a scene from a horror movie today as surfers, divers, volunteers, scientists... anybody with a heart really, turned up to try and convince our beautiful ocean friends to reconsider their choice and please please please swim back to sea. The first whale we got to we started calling Notchy for the big notch taken out of her dorsal fin. She lay gasping in shallow water, and after much deliberating it was decided that the best plan was to try swim four whales stranded quite close together out to sea at the same time, as it was a whole family pod that was stranded together, we hoped helping several back out to sea at the same time would help them to keep swimming. I have never done this before, my exquisite sea mammal experiences have until today been confined to healthy happy mammals telling me to love life. It broke my heart into a million pieces to have the tables turned, to be the one convincing these lovers of life to please please please swim back out.

We maneouvered Notchy out into deeper water and swam her through the ever growing swell. Waves thundered at us, one picked me up threw me over tumbling- human whale human whale I tried to keep her head pointing towards the ocean, 'please dearest don't turn back!!'
We stayed with her as long as we could, far out at sea, until she dived down and we lost track. And then,
further off we saw four whales together swimming away. We whooped with joy, tired arms legs lungs getting new energy.

Fighting the current and the large swell to get back to shore my heart froze as I saw a whale swim past me, fast, strong, powerful- right up the beach, only to land there, thrashing her flukes. 'Nooo!!" I scream, can't stop myself. A tired man not far from me meets my broken gaze, he shakes his head, 'soul destroying'. I nod. And run.

I think we managed to rescue around 20 whales, but as I write this, scientist are setting up to euthenase another 34 beautiful creatures, who just cannot seem to make it back, and keep coming back.
Dear god, let me never have to see this ever again.

The Southern-most tip of Africa!

2009-05-16T07:42:00.003+02:00

If you have an insatiable, inexplicable, unstoppable and all-consuming love for the ocean- and you haven't been to Cape Town, then you're a liar... or need to travel more.
Coming back to Cape Town has been like seeing a lover after months of absence and years of solitude.

My friend Steve has brought a boat to Cape Town, and Steve, like me, is unashamedly in love with the ocean- although he might express himself more manly... Nevertheless, we understand each other and the sea. Steve and I plan to unlock, explore and savour all the treasures of our beloved Peninsula. Our first trip was legendary.

We launched the boat off Miller's point, into flat, calm blue water. Looking down into the water I let out a shriek- 'It's like Thailand, with Kelp!' Top to bottom visibility: white sand with tall dark kelp rising up off the bottom, swaying in the current like the spirits of the deep come to play.

I had brought two very green girlfriends along, experienced surfers, truthfully, but freediving? It was more like, 'um, equalisation?' so Steve and I decided to ease them into it... ah, a perfect plan made in the most perfect of ways...
First we stopped at a beautiful reef outcrop (reef my side of the world, think dark rocks covered in colourful urchins, kelp forests and sheepish looking shy sharks- no Nemo here...) anyway, the girls got to pull themselves up and down the kelps testing ears and breathhold, both doing exceptionally well.
Next stop, a seal colony. We continued further down the coast, to a stinky rock covered in seals, the most perfect playmates for three ocean loving girls.
So, the most perfect plan was to get dropped just south of the seals, swim with the current and waves to them, play a while, then swim past the rocks to get picked up the other side again by the boat... sounds simple?
Firstly, Steve's words, said softly so Roxy and Kim couldn't hear, 'Han, stay close to the rocks, keep your eyes open, all directions'. Seals, False Bay, deep water= Great Whites. 'Gulp, sure, no worries Steve- come on girls!'
Eyes peeled, finning hard for the rock, current strong waves bigger than expected, and suddenly we're off course wih huge swell running over a barely submerged rock and we're tumbled, white water, lost my snorkel... look over my shoulder for my friends, 'dear god, let me not kill my friends today' seeing Kim's slightly dishevelled but smiling face, 'easing us in genlty, are you?' we burst out laughing and call for the boat. This time less plan more precision, drop next to the seals and yes! They flash past us, closer closer closer, their curiosity making them spin around us like bees to pollen. One little seal caught up in the moment took a quick bite at Roxy's fin before joyfully leaping over Kim's shoulder and then speeding up to me diving down and between my legs, three girls in the big blue surrounded by ecstatic seal-friends laughing joyfully!

I'm home.

Taste it!

2009-04-29T05:56:00.007+02:00

It's five o'clock in the morning, Stansted airport, London. Halfway back to Stockholm on a marathon trip that will eventually Friday midday land me back in Cape Town.

Last thing I told you was that I almost burst my eardrum, and then I disappeared... So much has happened these last two weeks, so many lessons learnt. (And yes, my ear is fine, by the way, thanks for all who wondered.)

Competitive Freediving.
Taste those two words in your mouth. Roll them around on your tongue like a good wine. Close your eyes and succumb to the flavour.
What do you think?
Sweet? Bitter? A contradiction? A challenge? Salty..?

Well, for me it goes from sweet to bitter to pure I-need-to-puke-dash-to-a toilet right now and pass the water bottle, please! My training was sweet and then slippped unbeknown to me into something else, and suddenly there I was, swimming around the Blue Hole, a bitter taste in my mouth, crying into my mask. It was a really tough decision not to go for the records I had announced, especially as my training had taken me to my goals and beyond... but ah, when you lose the joy, when the taste is bitter?

Freediving for me is more than a sport, more than achievements, more than meters, seconds. Losing that love- happiness was not worth it, it never will be. So as I swam around the hole, sobbing into my mask (yes, it is possible, just very snotty!) I decided to back off, and wait. As Linda says (in her accentuated and adored Italian accent) 'You can't force it, let the depth come to you, it will- but not when you're pushing for it'.

And since then I've had a wonderful time in Dahab, coaching, teaching courses, organising, judging Bizzy Blue Hole and applauding all my friends achieving their dives.

At peace, in joy and with a sweet taste in my mouth I say goodbye to Dahab, for now.

...and Depth, when you're ready, you know where to find me.

The ears, the coach and the four things I forget

2009-04-19T22:11:00.005+02:00

Today I thought I burst my eardrum.

There's an Egyptian saying that roughly translates into 'some days are honey and others are onions...' Yesterday was sweet raw eucalyptus honey, today was a teary onion stinging my eyes.

Yesterday I did a new personal best no fins, which was great. Today was, well- onions. Or so I thought... then I had a good chat with Linda who is coaching me at the moment, and I came to my usual ah-ha experience realisation... which those of you who follow this blog will recognise.

Let go let go let go let go. (Think I might need to tattoo that on a prominent body part soon!)
There are only four things in our lives we truly have control over- our thoughts, our feelings, our words and our actions. Think about it. We feel, but it is a CHOICE how we let these feelings influence our thoughts, our actions. We think, but I can CHOOSE what I dwell on. It's when we try to control all the other things in our lives, that we lose control over these four things, that are the only four we actually DO have control over. I have allowed my feelings and thoughts to run amok the last few days. I have tried to control all that is outside- I lost. So, letting go- again.

Resting tomorrow, talking sweet nothings to my ear... drinking strawberry juice and reading.
A day of honey! I have chosen!

Linda whispering wisdom at me- she is the guru of equalisation!

OUCH!

Photos: Daan Verhoeven

dive for dreams and live by love

2009-04-14T20:05:00.003+02:00

an extract from the poem by e. e. cummings

dive for dreams
or a slogan may topple you
(trees are their roots
and wind is wind) 
trust your heart
if the seas catch fire
(and live by love
though the stars walk backward) 
honour the past
but welcome the future
(and dance your death
away at the wedding) 
never mind a world
with its villains or heroes
(for good likes girls
and tomorrow and the earth) 
in spite of everything
which breathes and moves, since Doom
(with white longest hands
neating each crease)
will smooth entirely our minds 

beautiful words after a tough day

Noseclip Days

2009-04-12T16:28:00.006+02:00

So Hanli, which part of your body hurts today?
Today? My left nostril and the crown of my head.

Ok, so I do write a bit too much about strange body parts and afflictions, but it's a known fact that freedivers are hypochondriacs and body fixated- not in the very vain sense, just that you need every single part of your body to work perfectly, every second of every dive.

So- my right nostril.
I have a very very vicious noseclip. In order to start diving without a mask, only noseclip, I really doctored my old faithful gold-glittered noseclip, to get it to sit really really tight, so that I can equalise against it, no hands! Which is great, but for the amount of pressure I use to equalise, I need to put it super hard... so it huuuuurts!!!

And today, beautiful flat day in the Blue Hole, at last! But this meant no current to push us away from the reef, so swam head first bang into a coral outcrop at 30m... Ouch! Sure hope the coral is ok, hers being a more a risk species than mine..!

Other than that, all good in camel-land. The noseclip is starting to work, now I just need to make my whole mouth nose ears head area understand to equalise with water streaming over my eyes.
Sometimes I feel like what happens inside me is removed from me... I think I'm in control, then- I'm not. And yes, yes, my usual lesson of letting go comes back at me and I'm learning.

Apart from the head on coral and sore nose, today was good. The water loves me and I love her back!

The good old days of diving with a mask... I love you Sphera... I miss you...

Photo: Jesper Stechmann

A long lost friend

2009-04-06T18:37:00.010+02:00

faith

• noun 1 complete trust or confidence

Oxford English Dictionary

Today I announced a record attempt.

No, no all of you out there with oodles of faith in me... not world records, you sillies! South African records. The last two SA records I don't hold, CWT 60m and CNF 40m as well as bettering my own FIM 50m and STA 5.39. (For all the dear non-freedivers following this blog)*

So, faith. Complete trust or confidence.
I am recovering from a tummy bug (think bad bug with incisors, not spotted ladybird of luck) and have not dived particularly deep since arriving back here over a week ago.

But record attempts need to be announced 14 days in advance, and the way it's all going at present, I am not ready... But! I have 14 days...
So I am re-acquainting myself with faith. Faith and I go back a long way. We've been best friends for years... Faith is the kind of friend you can lose touch with for a while, and when you meet up again you're chatting away like you never left.

'Hi Faith, it's Hanli here... yeah... yeah... nice to hear your voice too...'

*CWT- constant weigth with fins, diving deep with monofin; CNF- constant no fins, diving deep no fins ie. breaststroke; FIM- free immersion, pulling yourself down a rope and up again; STA- static apnea, floating dead still face down holding your breath.)

Cultivating wellbeing- Ears and Sprouts

2009-03-30T21:17:00.007+02:00

So, you might ask yourself, what do ears and sprouts have in common!?

Hanli's list of similarities between ears and sprouts:

1. They are both important to my freediving:
1.1 If I can't equalise, my dive is ruined
1.2 If I'm not healthy, my dive is ruined

2. They both rule my world:
2.1 I speak to my ears, tell them they'll be ok, they can eqaulise, I love them, I'm with them all the way... (no, they're not always sure of this, rather insecure yes)
2.2 I speak to my sprouts, I tell them I love them, that they're beautiful and that I will eat them with respect
2.3 I rinse my ears in fresh water after each salt water dive
2.4 I rinse my sprouts every morning
2.5 I then pour alcoholic spirits into my ears to kill all bad things
2.6 I rinse my sprouts at noon
2.7 I then let my ears dry out before putting in some olive oil (cold pressed extra virgin organic) to stop beloved ears form drying out too much
2.8 I rinse my sprouts every evening
2.9 I say goodnight to both before bedtime, neither answer

3.0 I will share them with my dive-buddy, Stefan:

Good night ears, good night sprouts, I love you.

SOUTH!!!!... well, halfway...

2009-03-27T07:46:00.002+02:00

Just a quick note- from Arlanda Airport in Stockholm, I'm going back to Dahab! The last couple of days in snowy Stockholm (yes, winter oused spring and came back and froze us!!) have been mad... finishing the rough-cut on my film... not enough sleep and dreams of warmth!

So, I'm off- 5 weeks of dusty dark blue freediving... and some exciting new lifestyle and training decisions, more about those soon... but let's just say- I have over 10ks of seeds and grains with me...

Ok, my flight is boarding.... more soon!

Sharks, starfish, Baba Dioum, and I

2009-03-23T17:52:00.014+02:00

Senegalese poet and naturalist Baba Dioum said:
'In the end, we will protect only what we love.
We will love only what we understand.
We will understand only what we are taught.'

For quite a while now I have been quoting this wise man without knowing it, and now that I know I was I am again so happy for collective consciousness or whatever you want to call it!
Because isn't it very true???
Very very true... when it gets to sharks... misunderstood- therefore unloved- thereby unprotected- and so killed. The finning of sharks for shark fin soup claims up to 73 million sharks per year (sciencenews.org) yet the numbers are hard to estimate, so I might be wrong... but what upsets me also is the killing of sharks for 'trophies' or 'acclaim'.

Recently two such events have made the news- 13 year old Aidan Murray Medley kills a bull shark (for Fun!? Fame!?) and a while back spearfisherman Craig Clausen kills a tiger shark, in self defence, he claims... yet it is clear to see on the footage that this is a very debatable point. (Read more about these stories on OceanicDreams)

Find the love, Aidan, find the love!!!

Now I had the misfortune to be pounced upon (by somebody who does not know me) for caring about these 'insignificant' incidents, as opposed to the massacres through finning and by-catch. But seriously, do we have to rate and ration our caring?

NO!

My dad used to tell me the story of the starfish on the beach. Millions of starfish have washed up on a beach and a man walking along the beach sees another man pick up a starfish and throw it far back into the ocean. Despondently he walks up to the thrower 'There are too many' he says, 'what difference does it make?!' And the starfish thrower replies, 'For that one, it made all the difference'.

So NO, I will not only care about the massacres and the statistics and I sincerely hope my love and my heart remain big enough to keep caring, keep understanding, keep sharing knowledge... so that others can learn to love and thereby protect.

... all the difference...

Have you ever seen a dolphin surfing??

2009-03-20T18:20:00.006+02:00

Well... have you? And how envious were you? On a scale of 1 to 10?
11??? Me too!

Have you heard of Sub-surfing?
NO!?
It is exactly what it sounds like, a combination of three of my favourite things:
Ocean... surfing... FREEDIVING!
It is surfing- INSIDE THE WAVE...

The time has come... when I get back to Cape Town May 1st- Bottlenose I will be! Right now I'm checking out what fins will be the best to become a SUB-SURFER, and thinking OH NO NO NOOOOO, not another passion, I don't have time...

Below you can see Kelly Slater playing Dolphin... sigh...

Public Breathhold at Stockholm Outdoor Fair

2009-03-15T23:13:00.007+02:00

Today I did a static 'exhibition' at the Stockholm Vildmarksmässa / Outdoor fair. As it often comes about in these crazy things I do and wonder 'why the hell am I doing this again?'- the answer is Sebastian.

So there I was in front of a crowd of non-freedivers, having promised Sebastian at least 4 minutes. As I got into the 27° water of the temporary pool in the middle of the conference center, I regretted my loyalty to the tall Swede once again. I so did not want to do a static.
My mind was all over the place, at 1min I was thinking of breaking the static.... but managed to rein in my racing mind... and ended up doing 5min 15sec.
Not close to a PB or anything, but a good mental exercise!

Breathing-up before the breathhold.

Happy after... well... relieved!

Photos: Martin Lundgren

Pull yourself towards yourself!

2009-03-13T00:20:00.013+02:00

Ok, I'm sitting on Annelie's foldout couch with ankle-deep snow outside... and have just recovered from hysterical fits of laughter, because it truly was a 50-50 toss-up whether I should laugh (hysterically) or cry (hysterically). (Hysterically was mandatory, not optional.)

I got back to snowy Sweden late last night, had a day full of meetings in Gothenburg today and a plan to travel up to Stockholm with Annelie and some other randon adventurers in a car early tomorrow morning. The best of plans made with the purest of intentions...

And then, the unthinkable happened... On buss #1 on my way from meeting #5 to Annelie (imagine slow buss through slushy snow, dark, cold, talking to Sebastian on the phone about vitamins) I jump off the bus (into the slush, talking to Sebastian about minerals) to change to buss #2 that will take me to A, and I think Hmmm, what a schlepp to drag my big traveling bag through all this slush... and then, suddenly all hell breaks loose...
I'VE FORGOTTEN MY FRICKIN BAG ON THE FRICKIN BLOODY DISAPPEARING -INTO-THE-DISTANCE FRICKIN' BUSS!!
No, no no, the customer care at the transport department is not open at nine at night, no I don't have a car to catch up with the bus, and NO, no knight in shining armour shows up to rescue me...
So, as it sometimes goes with the best of plans... I miss buss #2 in my crazy phoning, stressing- unhelpful running around like chicken with chopped off head.. and decide to walk my anger off to A's house, 30min through the above mentioned cold, dark, slush, in thin-soled Dahab adapted sneakers... Which is how I arrived at Annelie's door, choosing to laugh hysterically... Luckily A and I are the same size in clothes, she has lens fluid and a tooth brush and a sense of humour and another friend will send the forgotten bag to Stockholm (assuming it's been delivered to the lost and found- I'm assuming for now...)

Over a cup of honey-infused Rooibos Annelie placidly asks me so what do you think the universe is trying to tell you tonight... and as usual... I have to throw my hands into the air and say OK, Ok... I'm listening.
For days now I've been stressing about things outside of my control; money, practical issues, future plans... and I f#*k up on something right in front of me, so completely within my control... that I miss it!
Too much focus on the outside things, the clutter... losing touch with what is near.

So as somebody once said to me... Pull yourself towards yourself!

A pic of Annelie and I in another mad state of hysterics another time... but the madness is the same...

I saw the arch... and now I have to leave!

2009-03-10T16:41:00.007+02:00

After two weeks in Dahab I'm now getting ready to leave again. Too soon, too soon... she cries!

I'm trailing bits of my heart behind me as my travels continue, what I have left of it that isn't in Cape Town, will now be left for safe keeping in the Blue Hole... just under the arch...

Oh, my last few days of diving have been magical. I am so in love with the ocean! Still... again, forever... deeply. My ears have been co-operating, more or less, and my dives have been deeper than ever before, deep enough to get stunning views of the majestic arch, you see it clearly the first time around 45m and below 50 the view just blows you away... iridescent blue light streaming in through this window in the coral. Spectacular, or as a very special friend said, 'a spiritual experience' - indeed!

So, tomorrow at eight Ahmed will come again to pick us up to go one last time to the Blue Hole, one more breath, one more dive... one love!

Photo: Annelie Pompe, Ras Muhammad

Elusive and Alluring- the musts of Motivation

2009-03-05T15:54:00.000+02:00

Today I took another small step forward in my quest to diving deeper than I've ever dived before. But it must be said, the focus here must be on the word 'small'. The step the quest the dived the before are all just supporting actors. The star of the sentence is the 'small'.
No, I am not diving as deep as I hoped I would after a week in Dahab.
No, I'm not sad.
Why?
Because of my starry-bright beloved main actor- 'small'.

I've spent a lot of time thinking and rethinking the beauty and the challenge of motivation. What keeps us going? What will make me get up again at 7am tomorrow morning to go back to the Blue Hole, dive again, possibly deal with more shallower-than-wished-for dives, and still come back the next day.
I have had the privilege to work with a S-African sports psychologist by the name of Tim Goodenough, the author of a great book, 'In the Zone'. We spent some time really turning over the meaning freediving holds for me, and exploring this.
My meaning with my freediving is easy, my deep love for the ocean never having been in doubt, but the other side of it... the competitive side holds demons for me, and I needed help.
So, what will motivate me to get up at 6 o'clock in the morning to go for a run in the slushy snow in Stockholm when I get back?

Somebody I care about deeply sent me an sms today that he'd lost all motivation. Which is what inspired this rather rambling post...

Motivation is derived from the word move- and is, in all simplicity, the willingness of action.
So: to move- willingly. In order to move, we must have a next step in mind- the dream. That will make me want to move from this position, to the next. In his book, Tim speaks of making that dream as real as possible. For me, it's that really deep dive. For an athlete, an olympic gold medal. And you have to dream in 3D, in surround sound, in smell, taste, touch. What will that gold medal feel like in your hand? How heavy will it be? Can you smell the flowers the pretty girl hands you where you stand on the podium?
And when you can smell those flowers and you can feel that medal... then suddenly it might not be that hard to pull on those running shoes- what is an hour anyway compared to that very real dream?

What is your dream?

What wills you to move?

Visit Tim's site: Coaching Unity
Photo: Annelie Pompe

Blue Hole Revisited

2009-03-01T14:40:00.000+02:00

Today, at last, my Swedish dive-buddy Stefan and I took the bumpy pick- up on the camel-trafficked path out to the Blue Hole. A deep, deep coral surrounded place of beauty, where freedivers play and scuba divers die. Morbid, but the call of the deep is strong, and the naturalists have a better chance at survival. The early morning air is chilly, we have come at seven, so we are the only divers here. I drink some hot lemon with honey to warm up, we stretch, kit-up... at last, my dry season is over.

How I have been yearning for that rich blue expanse others call nothingness, I call everything. I take my last breath, leave the surface, the bustle, the voices- the world above, and dive...
I close my eyes, looking inward, as my body gets heavier as the pressure gets more, and then I fall... free-falling, allowing the water to pull-push draw me down. LIke a hundred arms of a hundred lovers the blue envelops me, holds me, cradles me... and this is enough. I am enough. Here... - I am.

I keep it easy, my recent illness still in my body, and I stop at 40- open my eyes at last, take in the silence and the solitude, before starting my ascent. My lungs want air but my soul wants more... more time down here, more depth... more!

Then I'm at the surface, breathe again, smile at the sun, my heart still beating... at depth.

This pic was taken by Annelie Pompe, my freediving soulmate, and really captures the feeling...

Ok! Ok... I'm listening!

2009-02-26T19:55:00.001+02:00

I think the Universe, or someone really big with lots of power, is trying to tell me something...

I'm in Dahab, Egypt, at last after stressful days finishing off work in Sweden, travelling trans-sweden to catch my flight here, only to arrive with a terrible cold and a raging fever.

You know when you feel like you're banging your head against the same door again and again, thinking that maybe you will get a different reaction next time- well surprise, you won't!
Patterns, it's all about patterns, the patterns we live- that become who we think we are- makes sense?
No? Hardly to me either. But I'm starting to figure out how much of what I do and what I say is actually me, and how much of it is just what I've always done... and said... ie. my pattern!

My rollercoaster life led me to above mentioned crazy trip to Dahab, where my heart and soul has been for so long- longing for this blue blue water and living only for my diving. And then, as the time approaches, I'm flat on my back with a terrible cold and a fever.
So now I've been here in Dahab since wednesday, and NOT BEEN IN THE OCEAN!!

Talk about a hard lesson, phew!
So now I'm observing my greatest love from a distance, and getting immense perspective through it. Seeing myself more clearly, my expectations, my dreams, what I am and what I want to be.

So, yes, I'm listening.
Listening more, speaking less.
And tomorrow- I will dive...

Photo: Annelie Pompe

Memories of a Shark Scare... or two!

2009-02-23T21:41:00.001+02:00

Sitting in my dear friend's flat in Stockholm, snowing outside the window, and as usual dreaming about my beloved Cape Town. The place that I call home.

On one of my last surfs there a few weeks back, I had an exciting experience that triggered other memories... so bear with me here, this is not a marathon down memory lane, promise!
And there are sharks in the story.

I'm in Umkomaas, off SA's east coast a while back, and as we're heading out to sea to go dive with the beautiful black- tip and tiger sharks who calls that spot home, we pass by some buoys that our super skipper Steve expertly avoids hitting. 'What are those for?' I innocently ask, Steve looks at me in a somewhat baffled manner before replying through clenched teeth, 'the shark nets'...
Ah, the shark nets... the WHAT? So, we get in the water and for reasons I cannot devulge in this post, (but promise to later) - we get in the water, myself, Steve and some other avid shark lovers, and take a closer look at the nets. It's so eerie. This beautiful wide open wilderness of blue blue blue, cut up into small evil squares... ready to catch an innocent dolphin, turtle, manta ray, whaleshark or misunderstood shark. And of course I know we have shark nets in parts of SA, but this was my first real encounter with them, and honestly, it left me quite traumatised.
While finning around frantically in my monofin, trying to feel what it would be like to be caught behind a shark net, it happened, I GOT CAUGHT IN THE DAMN NET! My weight belt got tangled, and I thought great!!! this would be so apt, 'FREEDIVER DIES IN SHARK NET'.
It would be good for media purposes, though...

So, further along memory lane, some weeks later I was surfing my sweet little Muizenberg break, when the loud whooping sound of the shark alarm came wafting over the water, AHA- a GREAT WHITE in the water!! The Shark Spotters up on the mountain have seen one approaching, so they warn us, we catch the next best wave (or ok, the next wave...) and surf to the beach. Now the beach is packed with surfers like sardines, chatting, laughing... waiting for the white flag with a black shark on- meaning: shark in the water, to go away and the red flag- shark has moved on, to be raised. At which point we all paddle out to the backline and resume our worship of the waves.

And you know what, THAT wasn't half the scare as seeing those shark-nets was. It felt so good to be sharing the ocean with our toothy friends and not just happily, or rather- PRIMITIVELY setting out booby traps for them, in their own homes.

VIVA THE SHARK SPOTTERS, VIVA!

A small moment- in a Big City

2009-02-23T15:10:00.002+02:00

Dogs, curtains and cold birds...

I was walking down the street, ambling, for once not cycling and not with
music on, actually partaking in the world, hearing some of the first brave
little birds tweeting out of tune, frozen little vocal cords straining,
cars hooting at intrepid cyclists- as myself- but today not me.
which is when i saw an odd sight: a man standing outside a shop on the
pavement, with a dog on a leash. the dog was straining and happily waving
it's tail at the shop window, the man looked cold and cross, shaking his
head emphatically at the window 'no, no, no NO!' i was intrigued.
approaching the shop, i saw the man's i suppose wife, standing inside
holding up curtain after curtain looking quite desperate, gesticulating
wildly at him, but he was not impressed. obviously the shop doesn't allow
dogs, and obviously it's gonna be a long day of window/ curtain shopping!

(Ah, this blog you wonder, is purely for freediving, or will be forced to
read the randon meanderings of this O2 deprived mind? Answer: yes!
As long as I'm not by the sea, neither will this blog be... but sooon!!)

48 HOURS TILL DAHAB ARRIVAL!

Not that Alkaline!

2009-02-20T15:29:00.001+02:00

How often do you think about the blood in your veins?
When you bleed... is that all?

Well, Freedivers think of their blood quite often, or... should. See, your blood can either be alkaline or acidic, this is true and scientific, but I'm not going to explain the technicalities, just trust me.
So, alkaline is good. Better oxygen saturation. Acidic is not good. Bad oxygen carrier, AND infections grow in acid, from fungal infections (urgh, yes) to many other bad things. (Again this is all very scientific, but I'm not... so let's stay colloquial!)

What makes us alkaline?
Lots of good veggies, preferably raw, fruit- WATERMELON!!

What makes us acidic?
Coffee, sugar, wheat, alcohol, cynicism.

What makes the Swedish winter bearable?
See above, under ACIDIC...

Damn!